I pause a moment to reflect on what I have copied from my journal, amazed that I had missed so much. I try to comfort myself with the knowledge that some things are much clearer after you have experienced them than they are when you are in the thick of it, and that I was very young. The wisdom that comes with age will allow little consolation from such justifications, however, and so I press on as much to drown out my thoughts as it is to complete this task I have set for myself.